Monologue: Any Age, Any Gender, Muppet Narrator Type

This is a monologue from SEE AMID OR, THE YULETIDE SHAKEDOWN by Peter Fenton for the role of THE SNOWMAN. SEE AMID OR, THE YULETIDE SHAKEDOWN is a holiday rom-com interrupted by local politics and conspiracy at the North Pole. This copyrighted monologue is free for use in audition and educational settings. The full play can be read on New Play Exchange. © 2018, 2026 by Peter Fenton. All rights reserved.

About the Character:

THE SNOWMAN (Any Age, Gender, and Ethnicity), our cabaret emcee in the play's heightened moments of theatricality. Mayor Claus’ long-serving, fiercely loyal Executive Assistant who has a thick southern accent. A sassy talking snowman, played as a puppet, who wants to melt away the potential controversy and probably knows more than he leads on. A quick charmer and one of Daisy’s few friends at City Hall.

About the Play:

Full-length. A holiday rom-com interrupted by local politics and conspiracy at the North Pole. She's a village school teacher. He's the son of Santa and Mayor Claus. When an otherwise festive romantic comedy plot unfolds, a blackmail scandal in Santa's Workshop turns the peaceful North Pole upside down during Mrs. Claus's campaign for Mayor. Narrated by a sassy talking Snowman.

SNOWMAN

Y’all ever been outside when it’s snowing? When it’s raining my flesh everywhere? Maybe don’t think too hard about that. When the weather outside is frightful, it’s so easy to get lost. Things get buried as the landscape changes—but nothing actually goes away. So you better try your darndest to find it or it’ll be lost until spring.

Now, I’ve lived a good, long life for a snowman. Now most folk don’t ever realize it, but when you’re a snowman, you’re lucky if you even live a week. There’s a few considerations you gotta keep in mind. That weather changes, you’re gone. If the neighborhood kids decide to get real mean and knock you down--yeah, you’re gone. If, say, the magic ice queen learns how to control her powers learning the power of love or whatever--well “Let it Go”, ‘cause yer gone, baby! But I’m a lucky old bag of ice.

Now the secret to my very long life is that I live at the North Pole--no matter when in the year you visit, step out on those city sidewalks--busy sidewalks--in the air, there’s a feeling of Christmas. You can go to the meadow and build your own snowman, pretend he’s Parson Brown for all I care.

My point is: I’ve lived a long time and I ain’t goin nowhere until global warmin’ gets me. So I maybe got a week, so listen up. I wanna impart some wisdom to you youngins before I’m... neutralized.

You may’a heard this story before and I don’t wanna rehash anything over-familiar--we sure do like to do that ‘round Christmastime, don’t we?--but I think you could learn a thing or two from Daisy and Mitchell, and IdaLynn Marble and Mayor Maureen. Ebb Whitfield, too--and yes, even Santa Claus. Now, at the time there was a nasty fight for city hall, and yes, the elves went on strike, but that’s not everything I remember. ‘Cause buried in that avalanche of news and politics and what-have-you was a simple story of love. And Christmastime. And change.

Ladies and gentlemen--and all the other elves out there--

Welcome to See Amid--or as I like to call it, The Yuletide Shakedown.

A banner is revealed. It’s a church-inspired banner originally reading “See Amid the Winter Snow” with the Snowman’s hand-wrought “or, The Yuletide Shakedown” covering what originally read “the Winter Snow”

SNOWMAN

Y’all like my sign?

Yeah, I stole it from some Sunday School classroom and liked the title, so I used to call this one “See Amid the Winter Snow.”

Then ‘bout a year or two ago, I did some reflection and decided that title makes it sound like I got a stick up my you-know-what. Lemme call it something fun.

And... here we are!

Our show begins right here at City Hall.

***

That's the end of the excerpt! If you want to read more from this play, go over to the plays page on this website. If you want to check out more monologues by Peter Fenton, there are a few on the blog.

Want to use it in an audition or in a classroom setting?

Be my guest! This material is free to use for those settings only. While I'd love to know that you resonated enough with my words to use it as part of your audition or class, you do not need to ask me permission. All I ask is that you credit me as the author and the play that it came from.

Want to perform it publicly or use it in a different way?

Please contact me and explain your situation. We'll come up with an agreement that makes sense and is fair to us both.